funny jokes British humour

Path = Home > Jokes & Funny Stories > British Humour

British Humour

 

What the British think is a humourous joke is often completely mystifying to people from other countries. That is why we have created this section for everyone who does find British jokes humourous. But of course you don't have to be British to view this section.

This is page 1 of 3
British jokes and humor

 

When angels go fishing, what kind of fish do they catch?
Holy mackerals.

What is short, green and goes camping?
A new boy scout.

Sailor (on radio): Hello coastguard my boat has just sunk.
Coastguard: Capsize?
Sailor: six and seven-eighths.

Did you hear about the man who thought Bob Marley and the Wailers were the sailors who caught Moby Dick?

What is at the back of a bee?
It's bee-hind.

What is furry, white and smells of peppermint?
A polo bear.

Irish stew in the name of the law

I've got a bad stomach.
Well just keep your coat on and on one will notice.

Old drinkers never die.
They just get plastered.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3






Here is a randomly selected joke

What do you call a poster advertising the last teddy for sale?
A one ted poster.

You can find more jokes like this in the What Do - Jokes category.