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Did You Hear - Jokes

A selection of did you hear jokes. For example, did you hear about the cement truck that crashed into the prison bus? They ended up as a bunch of hardened criminals.

 

 

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Did you hear about the angry inch-worm?
He was angry because he was told he had to convert to the metric system.

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I was going to tell you a joke about an electric drill, but it's too boring.

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Kevin Did you hear about the scarecrow?
He got an award for being outstanding in his field.

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Did you hear about the idiot who thought a taxidermist was someone who stuffs dead cab drivers?

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Did you hear about the idiot who had arm cut off so that he could sail round the world single-handed?

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Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.

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Did you hear about the baker who got an electric shock?
He stood on a bun and a current ran up his leg.

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Did you hear about the man who had a new bath fitted in his house?
The plumber asked him, "Would you like a plug for it?
The man replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric.

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Did you hear about the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
It ran off with some bones and left him without a leg to stand on.

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Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.

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Here is a randomly selected joke

What is yellow and can be used for writing?
A ballpoint banana.

You can find more jokes like this in the What Is - Jokes category.