Funny Bumper Stickers - 3

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

I brake for no apparent reason.

I'm not as you think as you drunk I am.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.

My mum said to me, 'Your uncle's a miser you know. In all that cold weather last week, he just sat huddled over a candle.'
I said, 'Blimey mum, they say it's going to be even colder this week.'
She said, 'Yes, well you never know. This week he may light it.'

You can find more jokes like this in the Miscellaneous category.