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Joke of the Day

On this page you will find todays 'Joke of the Day' plus the listings for the last seven days.

You will also be able to view the archive from the past sixteen weeks.

The Joke of the Day Archive

This is our archive where you can view previous 'Joke of the Day' listings.

Here is page one of our archive and it currently covers from Thursday, February 15th, 2018 to Wednesday, February 21st, 2018.

There are sixteen pages in this archive and each page covers seven days.

Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Etch who?
Bless you.

Joke of the Day for Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

How many politically correct people does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Why should we impose our values on the light bulb? If it wishes to be a light bulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."

Joke of the Day for Tuesday, February 20th, 2018

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they don't have pockets to put things in.

Joke of the Day for Monday, February 19th, 2018

Who can shave twenty times a day and yet still have a beard?
A barber.

Joke of the Day for Sunday, February 18th, 2018

An idiot took a photograph of his son to the photo store. 'I wonder,' he said, 'could you enlarge this for me?' 'Yes, certainly,' the assistant replied. 'And would it be possible for you to take his hat off for me?' 'Well, I'm sure we could do something. Yes, we could touch it up for you.' 'Oh, that's fine.' 'Tell me,' said the assistant, 'which side does your son part his hair?'
The idiot smiled. 'Oh, come on now. You'll see that when you take his hat off.'

Joke of the Day for Saturday, February 17th, 2018

Did you hear about the animal hotel that has exclusive accommodation for squirrels?
It's called The Nutcracker Suite.

Joke of the Day for Friday, February 16th, 2018

Did you hear about the man who went to a fancy dress party with a woman draped over his shoulder and told everyone he had come as a tortoise?
When asked who was the woman on his back, he replied, "that's Michelle."

Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 15th, 2018

When his car suddenly grinds to a halt on a lonely country road the driver tries to restart it but to no avail. So he gets out and opens the bonnet and starts fiddling with the sparkplugs. Suddenly he hears a voice. ''The left hand carburettor is blocked, why don't you drain it and the muck should come out too''. He turns round and can see no one, so he shrugs and goes back to what he was doing. ''Drain the muck out of the left hand carburettor'', says the voice again, and when he turns round all he can see is a black horse with its head over the hedge looking at him. Again the voice tells him what to do and he suddenly realises that the horse is giving him instructions. Too shocked to argue, he does as he is told, starts the car and sure enough it works. He drives down to the nearest bar and, rushing in like a madman, has a stiff drink. Then he says to the barman, ''My car broke down up there and a horse told me how to repair it''.
The barman looks at him and says, ''Was it a black one?''
''I thought so, the white one knows nothing about cars.''

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