Murphy's Laws - 3

GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

FIRST RULE OF INTELLIGENT TINKERING: Save all the parts.

FIRST LAW OF REPAIR: You can't fix it if it ain't broke.

FOUR WORKSHOP PRINCIPLES:
1. The one wrench or drill bit you need will be the one missing from the tool chest.
2. Most projects require three hands.
3. Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.
4. The more carefully you plan a project, the more confusion there is when something goes wrong.

LAWS OF TRUTH IN REPORTING:
1. The closer you are to the facts of a situation, the more obvious are the errors in all news coverage of the situation.
2. The further you are from the facts of a situation, the more you tend to believe news coverage of the situation.

FULLER'S LAW OF JOURNALISM: The further away the disaster~or accident occurs, the greater the number of dead and injured required for it to become a story.

HUTCHISON'S LAW: If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.

THE QUEUE PRINCIPLE: The longer you wait in a queue, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong queue.

MURPHY'S CONSTANT: Matter, will be damaged in direct propotion to its value.

THE MURPHY PHILOSOPHY: Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline

If you want to read more stories like this, you will find them in the Funny Newspaper Headlines category.