Newspaper Misprints & Misquotes - 7

M. P. ON CLOUD OVER EUROPE - Liverpool Post

Split and warmed and served with our cheese you will be the envy of your guests. - Catalogue of New Hampshire Store

A programme for parents - 'Wat is a Secondary Modern School?'

The new lizard, 21 in. long, is said at the Zoo to be settling down well. It is described by a keeper as being as lively as the cricketers that are part of its favourite diet. - Lincolnshire Echo

At weekends Rosemary cycles `usually to Portsmouth'. What does she do when she gets home? She strips and overhauls her bicycle. - Evening Standard

G.I. Joe was the only pigeon ever decorated by the British Government. G.I. Joe was credited with saving the lives of 1,l00 British soldiers after communication lines had been cut during an Italian engagement. Then he ran through the second and third floors of the building sounding the alarm, clad only in his underwear. - San Francisco Examiner

NUDIST NABBED UNCLOTHED MAN, WHO ADMITS BRANDISHING PISTOL, IS CHARGED WITH CARRYING CONCEALED WEAPON - Providence journal

`The defendant is a married man with a young family; otherwise he is well behaved,' said a police representative. - New Zealand paper

Amazing luck in the Irish Sweep fell to a Kentish man who drew two tickets and a Sussex woman. - Yorkshire paper

Mr and Mrs Wyglass of New York have completed their holiday at Angus. They have been shooting tenants at Burg-House. - Dundee paper

Lack Of Brains Hinders Research

If you want to read more stories like this, you will find them in the Funny Newspaper Headlines category.